Vote John Smith: An Analogy Between a Politician Who Wants Votes and a God Who Wants People in Heaven
John Smith is running for political office. Well, at least that's what his followers want you to believe.
It's a little odd, you think, because you don't even know what John Smith looks like. You see billboards, newspaper ads, posts on social media, and you even hear campaign commercials on the radio. But Smith himself doesn't appear in any of those. It's always some guy or some lady who claims to speak on behalf of Smith. They never show Smith's face either. Sometimes they show an artist's impression of what Smith may look like. Although in most of the drawings Smith is depicted to look pretty consistently like other drawings--always wearing a white suit and having a beard--you find it odd that he is usually shown as having white skin, even though both his parents are of middle eastern descent. "Sure, I guess that's possible," you ponder, but isn't that just a little weird? Never, have you ever seen an actual photo or video of John Smith; it's either an artist's drawing, or nothing.
John Smith has tons of followers. Millions of them in your own home state, in fact. But worldwide? The number is in the billions. Some of them are perfectly content to just cast their vote for John Smith and keep to themselves. But others pressure you. They tell you that John Smith really wants you to vote for him. They even go so far as to claim that John Smith personally knows you! "How could that be possible," you wonder. You've never met Smith. "He's known you since you were born," they say, "He wants to have a close relationship with you, but you have to accept him as your politician (vote for him) first." Doesn't that seem a bit like putting the cart before the horse? Why should you vote for a politician until he makes himself known to better clarify your questions? It's all weird, you think. You would consider voting for Smith; it's just that you need to see him clarify these many questions.
But the questions are just beginning.
The followers of John Smith seem divided on his platform. Many followers think that he wants to raise taxes to help pay for parks and recreation, but another large portion of his followers are adamant that the rise in taxes will go to pay for new schools and higher teacher salaries. Still, it gets even more confusing because you've met and talked to many of John Smith voters who claim he plans to lower taxes! You wonder who to believe, but talking to them is really no help. You've read blogs written by John Smith supporters, listened to their podcasts, interviewed them, talked to them via social media and have engaged in water cooler chit chat at work. It's hard to find two John Smith voters who agree on everything John Smith stands for! Many will agree on some things, but hardly anybody agrees with all. Is John Smith okay with homosexual marriage or not? Does he want evolution taught in schools? Does he mind if you eat pork and will he harm you if you do? You can't ask John Smith because he doesn't seem to be on speaking terms with you--You've emailed him and left voicemails on his office phone, but you have never received a reply and his supporters tell you that he works in mysterious ways. They accuse you of rejecting Smith. "But I haven't rejected him. I've tried to reach him. It sure feels like he has rejected me," you answer. His supporters remain confident that John Smith has asked for your vote.
Here's the kicker: Every John Smith supporter tells you that they know him very personally. They describe their relationship as "close and personal." So, clearly, if your friend Bud at work has a close, personal relationship with John Smith, and your aunt Theresa also does, they should agree on his platform. But they don't! For Pete's sake, they both subscribe to the exact same John Smith newsletter and listen to the same radio station that campaigns for John Smith 24x7! Bud minces no words when he exclaims that Smith is strongly against homosexuals getting married, while Aunt Theresa tells you emphatically that in her discussions with Smith, he has said that while he doesn't approve, he will give people the free will to do it if they want--and he'll eventually forgive them. The contradictions are beginning to drive you mad!
But there's hope!
Clarification is on the way!
All your confusion can be answered easily!
You just have to read John Smith's manifesto. Only, you're a little suspicious of its authenticity because--get this--John Smith didn't actually write it. Yeah, it was written by anonymous authors, but his followers are all in agreement that Smith himself personally inspired them to write it and that the book is inerrant. "Ok," you shrug, "I'll read it."
You read a few chapters and you're dumbfounded. John Smith makes a lot of outrageous claims. And he comes across as generally having abhorrent morals. Sure, there's some timeless wisdom in there, but you're struck by the bad parts. You don't know what to believe and who you should trust. Trying to reach John Smith personally yields no response whatsoever, and when you talk to the people who have close, personal relationships with him, they give you wildly variant descriptions of John Smith and his character.
You catch wind of a less popular candidate named Elizabeth Johnson, but when you look into her you run into the same problems--you don't see her, she doesn't respond to your messages, and her followers can't agree on her platform.
You're exasperated. "You know what? I'm not voting. I've had enough of this quackery," you say to yourself. The John Smith voters, the vocal ones, don't really make it easy for you to keep to yourself, however. You wish they'd just cast their vote and shut up about it. "Go ahead and vote for John Smith," you ruminate. "Just keep it to yourself and stop trying to get votes from others."
They are relentless! Finally, it becomes impossible for you to tune them out, and your annoyance comes to a head. You decide to engage the John Smith supporters.
"I'm not voting," you say to Bud, your co-worker. "On election day, I'm staying home. I'm not voting for John Smith. I'm not voting for Elizabeth Johnson, either. I am not convinced either of them are right, so I'm abstaining."
"That's preposterous," Bud sneers. He shoots you a patronizing look. He feels sorry for you.
Your aunt Theresa is disappointed, too. She thinks you may have been deceived by Arnold Switzer, a third candidate who is the mortal enemy of both John Smith and Elizabeth Johnson. Switzer supporters seem every bit as crazy to you as supporters of the other two. You don't like Switzer, either, and you've never seen or heard him.
One morning, you post a meme on your social media account mocking supporters of all the candidates. You're satisfied in not voting for anybody and you're stern in stating that fact. For this stunt, many people don't like you. You're okay with it though. You think "if they can't accept me because I'm not voting, then I probably didn't want to be their friend anyway." You feel content.
Your life goes on. And on... and on... and on. Just like this. Because this election doesn't take place until the day you die. So you live the rest of your life dealing with John Smith supporters. Every day they leak into your business to bug you with their nonsensical, contradictory, and often times immoral claims. And each time it happens, you have to make the decision between conforming to their expectations against every fiber of your being, or sticking up for yourself at the risk of ruffling feathers and being labeled a social pariah.
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It's a little odd, you think, because you don't even know what John Smith looks like. You see billboards, newspaper ads, posts on social media, and you even hear campaign commercials on the radio. But Smith himself doesn't appear in any of those. It's always some guy or some lady who claims to speak on behalf of Smith. They never show Smith's face either. Sometimes they show an artist's impression of what Smith may look like. Although in most of the drawings Smith is depicted to look pretty consistently like other drawings--always wearing a white suit and having a beard--you find it odd that he is usually shown as having white skin, even though both his parents are of middle eastern descent. "Sure, I guess that's possible," you ponder, but isn't that just a little weird? Never, have you ever seen an actual photo or video of John Smith; it's either an artist's drawing, or nothing.
But the questions are just beginning.
The followers of John Smith seem divided on his platform. Many followers think that he wants to raise taxes to help pay for parks and recreation, but another large portion of his followers are adamant that the rise in taxes will go to pay for new schools and higher teacher salaries. Still, it gets even more confusing because you've met and talked to many of John Smith voters who claim he plans to lower taxes! You wonder who to believe, but talking to them is really no help. You've read blogs written by John Smith supporters, listened to their podcasts, interviewed them, talked to them via social media and have engaged in water cooler chit chat at work. It's hard to find two John Smith voters who agree on everything John Smith stands for! Many will agree on some things, but hardly anybody agrees with all. Is John Smith okay with homosexual marriage or not? Does he want evolution taught in schools? Does he mind if you eat pork and will he harm you if you do? You can't ask John Smith because he doesn't seem to be on speaking terms with you--You've emailed him and left voicemails on his office phone, but you have never received a reply and his supporters tell you that he works in mysterious ways. They accuse you of rejecting Smith. "But I haven't rejected him. I've tried to reach him. It sure feels like he has rejected me," you answer. His supporters remain confident that John Smith has asked for your vote.
Here's the kicker: Every John Smith supporter tells you that they know him very personally. They describe their relationship as "close and personal." So, clearly, if your friend Bud at work has a close, personal relationship with John Smith, and your aunt Theresa also does, they should agree on his platform. But they don't! For Pete's sake, they both subscribe to the exact same John Smith newsletter and listen to the same radio station that campaigns for John Smith 24x7! Bud minces no words when he exclaims that Smith is strongly against homosexuals getting married, while Aunt Theresa tells you emphatically that in her discussions with Smith, he has said that while he doesn't approve, he will give people the free will to do it if they want--and he'll eventually forgive them. The contradictions are beginning to drive you mad!
But there's hope!
Clarification is on the way!
All your confusion can be answered easily!
You just have to read John Smith's manifesto. Only, you're a little suspicious of its authenticity because--get this--John Smith didn't actually write it. Yeah, it was written by anonymous authors, but his followers are all in agreement that Smith himself personally inspired them to write it and that the book is inerrant. "Ok," you shrug, "I'll read it."
You read a few chapters and you're dumbfounded. John Smith makes a lot of outrageous claims. And he comes across as generally having abhorrent morals. Sure, there's some timeless wisdom in there, but you're struck by the bad parts. You don't know what to believe and who you should trust. Trying to reach John Smith personally yields no response whatsoever, and when you talk to the people who have close, personal relationships with him, they give you wildly variant descriptions of John Smith and his character.
You catch wind of a less popular candidate named Elizabeth Johnson, but when you look into her you run into the same problems--you don't see her, she doesn't respond to your messages, and her followers can't agree on her platform.
You're exasperated. "You know what? I'm not voting. I've had enough of this quackery," you say to yourself. The John Smith voters, the vocal ones, don't really make it easy for you to keep to yourself, however. You wish they'd just cast their vote and shut up about it. "Go ahead and vote for John Smith," you ruminate. "Just keep it to yourself and stop trying to get votes from others."
They are relentless! Finally, it becomes impossible for you to tune them out, and your annoyance comes to a head. You decide to engage the John Smith supporters.
"I'm not voting," you say to Bud, your co-worker. "On election day, I'm staying home. I'm not voting for John Smith. I'm not voting for Elizabeth Johnson, either. I am not convinced either of them are right, so I'm abstaining."
"That's preposterous," Bud sneers. He shoots you a patronizing look. He feels sorry for you.
Your aunt Theresa is disappointed, too. She thinks you may have been deceived by Arnold Switzer, a third candidate who is the mortal enemy of both John Smith and Elizabeth Johnson. Switzer supporters seem every bit as crazy to you as supporters of the other two. You don't like Switzer, either, and you've never seen or heard him.
One morning, you post a meme on your social media account mocking supporters of all the candidates. You're satisfied in not voting for anybody and you're stern in stating that fact. For this stunt, many people don't like you. You're okay with it though. You think "if they can't accept me because I'm not voting, then I probably didn't want to be their friend anyway." You feel content.
Your life goes on. And on... and on... and on. Just like this. Because this election doesn't take place until the day you die. So you live the rest of your life dealing with John Smith supporters. Every day they leak into your business to bug you with their nonsensical, contradictory, and often times immoral claims. And each time it happens, you have to make the decision between conforming to their expectations against every fiber of your being, or sticking up for yourself at the risk of ruffling feathers and being labeled a social pariah.
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